we were there

We were there in the house when he died.

I was in the next room, frozen, eyes wide after hearing my brother Tim call for my parents. Early morning light was pouring through the shutters onto the couch I'd spent the past few nights on. I was surprised at the sharp feeling in my stomach, my racing heart. The buildup to that inevitable minute hadn't actually prepared me one bit, it seemed.

I blinked a few times and was finally able to move. I walked the ten or so steps into the room where the rest of my family stood in a circle around the simple hospital bed that supported my brother. I understood. Immediately.

After a time, we were able to leave him as he was: impossibly still under stark white sheets in that softly-lit room. We left the door open.

don't be afraid

My family, a photo by Erin Eli on Flickr.

When the night comes, don't be afraid. You're only dreaming.

poppies

poppies, a photo by Erin Eli on Flickr.

I got these Icelandic poppies at the farmers market at the Embarcadero. It's touristy as hell and way too crowded, but I like the produce and flowers there, so it's worth it. As long as I'm in and out in under an hour anyway.

Lemonade

 Years ago, my mom took a simple lemonade recipe (6 cups water, 1 cup lemon juice and 1 cup sugar) and made it perfect with one step: by taking one of the cups of water and melting the sugar into it, she creates simple syrup. Such an easy thing to do, and it improves the lemonade so much - no more gritty lemonade or endless stirring. It's my favorite!

I usually double the batch, so measurements shown here are twice the amount the recipe calls for.

2 cups water

2 cups sugar

Halve lemons, remove any obvious seeds.

Juice!

Lemon towers are optional.

Chill and serve over ice.

Slim Angel

This camera (click to enlarge):

makes photos like this:

and this:

koi and swans

This is from a disposable camera. I like it.

I can't sleep. 

Rainbow carrots

Originally uploaded by Erin Eli

I'm starting to shoot food, and I'm starting to love it. It seems pretty natural that I'd combine two of my favorite things (photo and food), but I avoided it until recently because my shots always looked like crap. Yellow and flat, not as crisp as I'd wanted.

I'm finally getting to the point where I have the right equipment to take shots that I really like. It's so fun to experiment and practice because I know that I'm learning so much each time, moving closer to where I want to be.

I want to produce gorgeous, professional looking shots and I'm confident that I'll be able to someday. In the meantime, here are some carrots in a cup.

Sentence

Originally uploaded by Erin Eli

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm at my parents' house in north county San Diego, loving my new Canon 30d. Digital is so practical, instant. I can learn from my mistakes because I can see them in front of me.

This is Laurel on Fuji FP100c - shot by my Landcamera.

Mirror

Mirror
Originally uploaded by Erin Eli

In love with this!

Strange image from a roll of 120 shot on my Diana. Light leaks after exposure imprinted the numbers on the film, I think.

"It's much more apparent when there's no one else in the house, and light is slowly fading and slipping behind the hill and the ringing in your ears rises up in a sudden wave.  You feel so still and like this could go on forever but it won't.  Soon you'll forget, soon you'll be talking and laughing or sleeping quietly in your dark room."

EK

EK
Originally uploaded by Erin Eli

Strange angle ( I can't remember how I originally took it), but Erin just looks so pretty.

This shot is 35mm slide film that I converted to black and white. Our friends Rachel and Dave had a brunch party last month, and even though it was overcast that day, it was pretty bright - there was tons of great, diffused light coming through the windows.